


Nights and Days to Remember

by romybook



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-04
Updated: 2014-07-04
Packaged: 2018-02-07 10:34:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1895847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romybook/pseuds/romybook





	Nights and Days to Remember

First day back _home_.

First day back from school.

First day back to Walburga and she is already screaming at you, Sirius.

First day and you, Sirius, already wants to go away.

First day and you, Regulus, are sick of it all and so you decide that for once you should do something.

…

“You want to run away?”

“Why do you care? We hate each other, right?”

“I don’t buy it. Don’t give me that crap about you being a Gryffindor and me a Slytherin…”

“And what about you being the perfect little heir and me a blood traitor?”

“You’re my brother and I love you. Period. And I know you feel the same.”

**One second passes.**

**One minute passes.**

**A whole life seems to pass.**

“Stay!”

**An order. A supplication. One word that means everything.**

“Stay with me tonight?”

**An answer. A question. Four words that could lead to everything.**

…

That night you stay together and you talk for a long time. You’re lying side by side on Sirius’ bed and you just talk. About everything that happened since you grew apart. You have so much to say, as if both your lives depended on that simple talk, on that look you share.

The next day, life in Grimmauld Place is not that bad for you, Sirius. As usual, you spend a small amount of time in the public area of the house. You stay in your bedroom because you don’t want to make waves, for your brother’s sake, for yours too. And so there are no screams that day. The house is almost peaceful and your heart is pounding fast but you don’t know why.

When Regulus finally joins you, you just keep going on with your previous conversation and you know that easily that could become the only important thing in your day, in your life. And you feel the same, Regulus.

You have so much to catch up and so the night after you keep talking. And then the other night after. Even during the day. When your parents are away. When you feel brave enough to risk them to find you together, talking.

Of course, you have a lot to share but you’ve been almost 24/7 together since the beginning of the holidays and so after a few days, you go off-topic. No, that’s not true. You’re just a bit sick of talking.

And so you look at each other. You’re both tired without knowing about what exactly or why. But you know that that time together is what makes you both feel alive and relaxed. You just want to share… something, anything. Other than a talk. A look. A breath.

You stare at each other as if you could live in the eyes of your brother, as if you could see what you both want in them.

It is so very innocent at first.

Innocent but so dangerous.

Innocence can be dangerous sometimes and you’re gonna learn it the hard way.

Looks aren’t enough after a few days. Sharing breaths neither. And so your fingers entwine.

Surely it is a brotherly hug you are sharing. Even when your bodies are wrapped so tightly it could be painful. So tightly it is purely wonderful.

You both need some comfort. You’re ready to give it to each other and somehow you are the only one who could.

Yes, innocence can be so dangerous sometimes.

…

_Mother and Father must be very proud of you, little brother. You were probably the only one who could make me stay. Even if it is for a while…_

_And now you’re in my arms, Reg and I feel that all the weight, the burden I thought I had on my shoulders are finally disappearing. It is funny. Life is funny, you know. We’ve lived our entire life together. I mean, even at Hogwarts, even away from each other because of our houses, we were still a family._

_I always kept an eye on you because you’re my little brother and I should always protect you._

_And then you’re in my arms, best place to protect you now that I think about it. But you’re the one who is protecting me. From them. From myself. You’ve made my life in this house bearable and now, suddenly, it is very different._

_You are in my arms and I can’t help but focus on your heartbeats, on your eyes, on your hair, on all the details that make you the person you are. People say we are alike. I disagree. You’ve got an angel beauty when I’m the Devil._

_Beautiful. It is the word I would use to describe you. And since when do I need a word to describe anybody, you of all people?_

_I can’t think about that. I am a man of action. Have always been. And that is why I move my lips to your cheek because at that instant, it is the only thing I can think of. And you’re not even surprised…_

_…_

Again, you fall into a comfortable gesture. Something innocent.

Innocence will be your fall, your personal damnation.

…

_When does a kiss become less innocent? When does our kiss become more dangerous than innocent? I don’t really know._

_Maybe at the very beginning. Because it was far too enjoyable when your mouth first touched my skin._

_I am the one who makes the first move, the less innocent first move because Gryffindor be damned, I may be a Slytherin but I just can’t stand this situation anymore. I can’t wait for another night to pass like this, waiting for something, anything…to just happen._

_I may be the little one but I always knew what I wanted. I always know what I want, especially when it is just in front of my eyes._

_I take your hand in mine and then move your fingers to my lips. I kiss each one of them, keeping your forefinger far too long to be innocent any longer. Quickly, it gets out of control._

_That must have been what you were waiting for since… ever. You are my big brother after all. Even in your carefree attitude, you can’t take everything you want. Not when what you want is me._

_Easily, your lips are on my neck and my heart stops. Finally our mouths meet. We both want it and you’re now willing to give it to me. At last._

…

That is not innocent anymore.

Of course, kisses can be innocent, even brotherly. But not the way they are more insistent, night after night.

You both know you’re going to fall… Hard.

Words are definitely forgotten between you two, unnecessary, even prohibited.

Your mouths find each other so easily. Tongues link so naturally.

It is right and wrong at the same time but you don’t say it. You don’t need to say it.

Until that fateful night of August…

…

“I want you. I shouldn’t want it but I do.”

“Then take me.”

…

_That night, I go away and it is for an entirely different reason that what I thought it would be at the beginning of summer._

…

_That night, you go away and I can’t tell I don’t understand why. Quite the opposite actually._

_Because we shouldn’t taste what’s forbidden. We shouldn’t have tasted it. We both knew it. We both know it. But we wanted it. Still want it._

_I know I shouldn’t have moved against you that way. I know I shouldn’t have begun to undress you. You were still unsure of yourself but with me slipping my hands under your shirt, it didn’t take long for you to lose control._

_You were already rocket-hard and I was too. We didn’t say it but we saw it in our eyes, we’ve never been that aroused in our entire life. We’ve never wanted someone the way we did and still do._

_I don’t know how you managed to not take me right there and then because I could tell you wanted it. More than anything. You wanted to slip in my body desperately. But you told me I was still too young. Oh Sirius… I know that you were in fact afraid that I’d change my mind in the morning. And it would have been your fall. I understand it now. If you had made my bodies yours, completely, then your heart would have fallen into pieces. And mine too, probably._

_We both know it is supposed to be so very wrong and yet when you were on your knees in front of me, sucking me as if your life depending on it, our hearts beating in unison, then we knew nothing was wrong with us. Just too right for anyone else to understand._

…

The next time you see each other, it is on Hogwarts ground. A safe place. Not anymore. Because you shouldn’t feel so happy to see each other. And yet…

It doesn’t take you two a long time to meet again. You know you shouldn’t. You’re far too intoxicated by each other to think properly, to act only in a brotherly way. At first, you make promises that you won’t do it anymore, that you just want to see each other, to be together. It is right in a way. You want to spend time together just because it feels so good. But you are already in love. You don’t want to see it. You prefer to hide from it.

And so again, you talk.

And so again, you close the distance.

And so again, you are kissing.

It is so good, you’re willing to be damned for it.

Your friends see something is different with you two, both the Marauders and the Death Eaters in the making. But they can’t put their fingers on it. You are careful. Slytherin and Gryffindor’s abilities are a good mix sometimes. You are the proof that the combination of opposites is a good thing.

Nobody tries to talk to you, Regulus. They know it would be a bad idea. They let you be the way you want. They’ve always considered you as an odd one anyway. You’re a Black after all.

Of course, James tries to talk to you, Sirius but you make his concern go away. Yet, he isn’t a fool. Since you move out from your home, you’ve never dated anyone and you will never again. You used to have so many flings, to be such a heart breaker, selling yourself as a whore and your friends didn’t like it. But being different now make them uneasy. You make excuses, saying there is a war in sight and you want to be ready to fight…

But you don’t want to fight against your heart…

And so everything change on Valentine’s Day. It is the first one for you two as a… an entity. You can’t say couple because it is not what you are. It is so much more.

That day, you stay together no matter who could find out about you. You just can’t be away from each other on that day. You need your other half so much.

You go in the Forbidden Forest, near the Lake, even in Hogsmeade and you must be very lucky because nobody sees you. Yet, you’re not discreet at all. That day is so important. You both know it in your mind. You’ve talked about it and time has come.

You end up in the Room of Requirement as usual but it is different tonight. The room is very romantic and you can’t know which one of you has asked the Room to be like that. Maybe both. Most definitely. You eat together but you’re not feeling hungry. Not for that kind of hunger anyway. You can’t look away from each other.

This is perfection.

…

“I love you, Reg.”

“I love you too, Sirius.”

“Are you ready? Do you really want it?”

“I want you. Always have. Always will. I want to be marked as yours, as much as I’ll mark you as mine.”

…

Near your second Valentine’s Day, your friends find out, Sirius and they are so shocked by the news they just don’t know how to deal with it.

You’re angry, Regulus, because you don’t want them to take your brother away from you. You shouldn’t be worried because nobody can make him hate you. It wasn’t possible before. Even less now.

Sirius is strong and you’re so proud of him. He tells them to deal with it because he won’t change. He tells them he loves you and in a way you’re in fact glad they’ve found out. You want everybody to know that you love each other. You know you shouldn’t want that. Because it is very impossible and will ever be. Even if Blacks are known as incestuous, it is a step a little bit too ahead for anyone to understand.

Your friends don’t understand but they still love you, Sirius and they’ve always known you were one of a kind. They don’t want to see you two together but they let you do what you want as long as you’re alone when you do it.

That Valentine’s Day is exceptional. You’ve found a bit of acceptance and it’s a nice feeling. It’s been almost a year and a half you’re together. Sirius will be away from school at the end of the year and you want to take benefit of the time you have left. You know it’s going to be hard in a while.

You become too reckless, you know it. It is funny to see that lots of couple become less and less tactile with each other, less in love we could say, as time passes. Maybe it is because you have to stay hidden or maybe it is because you are like that, but you seem more and more in love.

That summer, you think it is safe for Sirius to come in Grimmauld Place. You just come back from Sirius’ flat but he is here taking you home. The house is empty so it is supposed to be safe but it is not. You should have never come in.

You want to kiss goodbye but you’re easily caught by your emotions and your obvious urge. You’ve been away from each other since the beginning of the summer so one day isn’t enough. You want to make love again. And you do it. But then you fall asleep.

When Orion and Walburga find you two in bed, naked and clearly sated, you know your parents have never been that angry in your life.

…

_They try to curse you, my love. We haven’t time to try to explain, they’ve already their wands out. Anyway it wouldn’t do any good. How could they understand our love?_

_They Crucio you just in front of me and I can’t bear it. I stand for you, Sirius and I am so proud of myself. I give you the opportunity to go away but I’m not seventeen yet and I can’t go with you. I know you’re worried. I can feel it in my heart. But Mother and Father only hate you. They say you have abused me. You’re the one to blame because I’ve always been the perfect little heir. That expression gives me the urge to puke. But I don’t. I keep my Slytherin mask in place, taking warmth knowing you’re at home, safe._

_Mother and Father don’t curse me. They don’t need too. They have the most powerful leverage to make me obey: you. Even if they don’t say it clearly, it is obviously implied. I fake to play along. I always knew how to survive. And in one year, I’ll just have to live. With you._

…

There is a war outside. And war is never good for lovers.

…

“I don’t want to lose you… Ever.”

“I don’t want it either.”

“Then we’ll have to do something.”

…

_You have a plan and it is completely insane. You want us to be together, that, I can get. You want the Dark Lord to be away, that, I can get too. But the way you want to do it… You say it is the only way. I trust you of course, despite the pain, the fear I have to lose you completely._

…

_I have a plan and it is dangerous, I have to admit. Dangerous and yet my wish is purely innocent. I want to do it for you, more than anyone else. I love you, Sirius. I love you so much and I would do anything for you. I would do anything to be with you._

…

You’re looking at each other, tears in your eyes. You will take the mark tomorrow, Regulus.

Your plan has worked perfectly well for now and it will stay that way. It is such a shame that nobody would ever know how much brave you are, you two.

You should be happy after few months of that sort of break. But how could you when death seems the only possible future for you two?

Fortunately, Regulus, you have a solution for everything. You’re afraid, Sirius. Afraid that it couldn’t work. Afraid that it could. Regulus must be completely crazy. Crazy to have such idea in his head. You’re crazy of course. Crazy about Sirius. As much as he is about you and that is why he is willing to do that with you. It could be the only way…

The only way to have what you are craving.

Tears are still there when your bloods begin to mix. You both pronounce the incantations and it must go well because you can see your blood turning black in the cup. Black as your common name. As the blood you share. It must be a sign.

You drink it willingly. First you, Regulus. And then you, Sirius.

You can’t help but kiss after that. You have to. And you have to be united in every possible way.

The future will say if the spell has worked but somehow you both know it has and so you take comfort in it. Hope goes around your bodies.

You will be together, a way or another.

…

_When I finally find the locket, I understand my mission is a success. I know I lie a bit to you Sirius. I give Kreacher the Horcrux because I just couldn’t bear for you to have it. It is so wrong, it shouldn’t be near you. Kreacher will do what have to be done. I have faith. Anyway, you own the needed informations to success the rest of the task. And it is enough for me to be at peace and accept my death._

_As I fall into the lake, I can only think about you, Sirius. My brother. My best friend. My lover. My everything._

…

_You’re dead but not really. And I am not sad. I won’t be. I won’t let myself be sad because I have a purpose, a goal. You sacrificed your life for everyone, for me. And in a while, I’ll be with you again._

…

While can be a day, a month, a year. Years in your case.

Because you couldn’t just give up with your life, Sirius, when it was so obvious that something had gone wrong. You had to complete successfully your task, after all.

You lose a bit of your mind, so away from him. Every happy feelings of you two together taken away from you. But it was worth it. You just know it.

…

_When I fall into the Veil, I have to smile because I know this is it. Either I disappear, either I’ll meet you. But a way or another, I won’t suffer any longer. The war isn’t ended yet but it will be, Dumbledore assured me of it. None other than Harry himself, my godson will be the one to finish the quest you started. I can leave easily._

_When I fall into the Veil, I have only one face in my mind: yours! My brother. My best friend. My lover. My everything._

…

“Regulus…”

“Yes, love. I was waiting for you.”

“It worked?”

“Of course, it did! Didn’t have faith in me…”

**Teasing doesn’t hide the emotions of the voice.**

“I couldn’t live on that hope only. It would have killed me otherwise.”

“You still died though.”

“I know… Yet, here we are.”

“You’re so handsome.”

“I admit I prefer we both are back to our younger selves.”

“It was a part of the spell.”

“I know.”

“You’re ready…”

“To live with you forever?”

“To kiss me, silly.”

…

You look at each other.

You stare.

You bury yourself in those eyes.

God! You miss them. Both of you.

You close the distance between your two bodies. Finally.

Your breaths are only one.

And you kiss.

This is home. This is life. This is death.

This is right because you were, are and will be the one for each other.

**The End.**


End file.
